A Rival for Fenton

Well, well, well. Darling Billy had his first romantic encounter today. He went chasing after a golden lab on the towpath. He was absolutely mad for her! All the calling in the world wouldn't bring him back. The bitch's dad was running way ahead of me and could clearly see that Billy was humping his beloved. But did he stop them? No! Images of lots of little labradoodles came to mind, not to mention a paternity suit! I shouted, I yelled,I swore, I even did my four-finger whistle that my brother taught me years ago. The man just kept running, not hearing me because he was plugged into his music.A cyclist came up behind me - 'Please stop that man!' I begged. I watched as he did just that thing. But then the man ran on again, puffing Billy still humping his lady love. Panic began - what if darling Billy disappeared forever? Running is not my best talent, but finally I caught up with the guy, wheezing away like a a goodun. Me - not him! He removed his ear plugs, but he still couldn't hear me! Finally, I got through... 'She's 10 and a half, an old lady,' he said. 'She hasn't had this much attention for years! That's life. They're enjoying themselves! How old is your dog?' 'Two,' I said. 'and five months.' 'Well,' said the man. 'How would you react if you were chased by a 20-year-old stallion?' Let's just hope we won't appear on You Tube tomorrow!